It’s possible that you’re already dead. When was the last time you checked?
Just a reminder, board gamers of Night Vale, that you have less than three days to vote on new rules to be included in the classic game Monopoly. Hasbro, current official publisher of the venerable game of real estate, has decided to adjust monetary values in the game for inflation, and is soliciting feedback on proposed inclusion of popular “house rules” already informally instituted at many tables around the world. Follow the link above to get more information on how you can become involved in the voting.
"Trainers are teaching these dogs everything from jujitsu to kickboxing to knife work."
There are more atoms in one photoreceptor cell in one of your eyes than there are stars in the Milky Way, and there are 130 million photoreceptors in the average eye, and yet when was the last time you looked up at the night sky?
Have you visited your friendly radiographer yet? The Night Vale Greater Medical Community wants to remind you that all citizens of Night Vale are required to be exposed to at least one deliberate dose of questionable radiation for no reason whatsoever per year.* If you haven’t already scheduled your utterly unnecessary but compulsory exposure to unsettling levels of radiation, please make sure to make your appointment ASAP!
*This is in addition to, among other things, radiation received at the dentist, doctor’s office, visits to beautiful Radon Canyon, the rays of alleged celestial bodies such as the “sun,” imbibing a refreshing Thorium Cola, rolling around in the city’s pitchblende pile as part of Failed Reactor Day celebrations, or being bombarded by the nightly wake of extraterrestrial craft that pass overhead monitoring us for unknown and unknowable reasons under the power of unfathomable principles completely unlike what we know as science .
When you’re unsure how to approach a person, use this link to get a random playing card. Then:
If it’s a Heart, compliment them.
If it’s a Diamond, give them something.
If it’s a Spade, tell them a joke.
If it’s a Club, ask them a question.
My apologies for the delay on this posting. I was caught up in adventures of my own and I wanted to be sure that each of you might have the opportunity to test your metal with this handy diagram before venturing forward on perilous endeavors. Best of luck, dear readers
A helpful reference for all of you readers for the next time you find yourself in this situation. (Because we all face this dilemma at least once a week. Ah, modern life.)
Fast-food chain Arby’s bought Pharrell Williams’ oversized Vivienne Westwood hat that he wore to the Grammys for $44,100 on eBay.
And now we understand the lights above Pharrell’s hat as well.